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We’re so afraid of the Westworld future we forgot the Aldous Huxley plot.
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My shoulders have been at my ears since 2016 but ok.
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AI is cool and all but my brain chemistry still alters when asked to edit a PDF.
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I don’t mean to brag but I took one single solitary deep breath yesterday. So.
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I still pop OFF to some Uncle Kracker and I’m only a LITTLE ashamed.
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Someone emailed me with the subject line “Insight from your past life” and I can’t stop giggling. Which past life? I was probably once a European serf but I don’t like to talk about it. Just say you’re looking at the tech, dawg 😆
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Canceling subscriptions has gotten insane… BUT ARE YOU SURE WHAT IF WE BRAID YOUR HAIR

I’ll never return if it’s this annoying to cancel hydration sticks 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️
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Jabs retweeted
🚨BREAKING: The White House has started preparing for the government shutdown
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Guess my tax refund is just an investment account now
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Jabs retweeted
Have a friend with no professional experience pursuing his masters in beep boops at the local state university and occasionally he’ll ping me about a Cybersecurity topic he finds unbelievable and when I confirm it, he will spiral in dismay at how little things make sense
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Oh captain, my captain 🫡
A rare close-up of the elusive Golden Langur, one of the only known primates that actively avoids humans
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I’ll do my best to slow down if you try to keep up.
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Good morning to everyone except people who put two bags in the overhead compartment.
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Good morning to everyone except people whose kids sleep through the night.
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Absolutely nobody:
Me: WHERE IS YOUR BOY TONITE i HOPE HE IS A GENTLEMAN
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Still so relevant! I’ve had people recently apologize for “missing” this a few times - give it a gander if you feel so inclined 🤓
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Jabs retweeted
The #SoberSpeakeasy on Aug. 6 wouldn't be possible without these amazing sponsors:

PLATINUM - jackiesinsecurity, @DomainTools
GOLD - @MiscreantsHQ, Write Alchemist, @NinjaProxyHQ
SILVER - @Ember_OT, @DianaInitiative, @HackersHealth

Thank you for your support!
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Some of y’all don’t drink so much coffee your stomach hurts and it shows.
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Lots of maritime security talks lately that happen to forget to talk about maritime 😆
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2 in person meetings and I somehow travel with 3 laptops 2 phones and 2 pairs of glasses… 🫠
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If you don’t have two empty coffee mugs in your vehicle at all times I don’t trust you.
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