Thomas Jackson retweeted
No one asked for it, but here it is anyway… Chuck’s Premier League Preview!
FOLKS! Premier League weekend is HERE and my brain is NOT ready but we move. Here’s your highly professional, barely accurate preview.
We start with Manchester United vs Spurs. One team is a chaos purs. This could finish 0-0 or 5-5 and I’d believe both. Someone’s season “project” dies today, GUARANTEED.
3pm madness:
Arsenal vs Sunderland – Arsenal will try to win 1-0 while explaining “field tilt” on a spreadsheet. Sunderland will attempt pure sh*thousery. Elite clash of nerds vs sickos.
Bournemouth vs Aston Villa – This feels like a match that ends 3-2 and I forget who won by Monday. Book it.
Burnley vs West Ham – Relegation energy versus “should be better than this” energy. Grass may be the real winner.
Fulham vs Everton – If this was food, it’d be plain pasta. Important, but nobody’s excited.
Wolves vs Chelsea – Chelsea will have 74% possession, 19 shots, one goal, and 400 thinkpieces. Wolves will just vibe.
Evening: Newcastle vs Brentford. Either Newcastle destroy them and declare themselves “back” or lose and release a 12-tweet injury thread. No in-between.
Sunday: Brighton vs Crystal Palace, hipsters vs haters. Then Liverpool vs Man City, which is football’s Avengers movie. Goals, drama, meltdowns, my head exploding.
I understand none of it, but I’ll be yelling anyway.
#PremierLeague #EPL #MUFC #THFC #AFC #SAFC #AVFC #AFCB #BURWHU #FFC #EFC #WWFC #CFC #NUFC #Brentford #BHAFC #CPFC #LFC #MCFC #Football #Soccer #WeekendVibes
FOLKS! Premier League weekend is HERE and my brain is NOT ready but we move. Here’s your highly professional, barely accurate preview.
We start with Manchester United vs Spurs. One team is a chaos purs. This could finish 0-0 or 5-5 and I’d believe both. Someone’s season “project” dies today, GUARANTEED.
3pm madness:
Arsenal vs Sunderland – Arsenal will try to win 1-0 while explaining “field tilt” on a spreadsheet. Sunderland will attempt pure sh*thousery. Elite clash of nerds vs sickos.
Bournemouth vs Aston Villa – This feels like a match that ends 3-2 and I forget who won by Monday. Book it.
Burnley vs West Ham – Relegation energy versus “should be better than this” energy. Grass may be the real winner.
Fulham vs Everton – If this was food, it’d be plain pasta. Important, but nobody’s excited.
Wolves vs Chelsea – Chelsea will have 74% possession, 19 shots, one goal, and 400 thinkpieces. Wolves will just vibe.
Evening: Newcastle vs Brentford. Either Newcastle destroy them and declare themselves “back” or lose and release a 12-tweet injury thread. No in-between.
Sunday: Brighton vs Crystal Palace, hipsters vs haters. Then Liverpool vs Man City, which is football’s Avengers movie. Goals, drama, meltdowns, my head exploding.
I understand none of it, but I’ll be yelling anyway.
#PremierLeague #EPL #MUFC #THFC #AFC #SAFC #AVFC #AFCB #BURWHU #FFC #EFC #WWFC #CFC #NUFC #Brentford #BHAFC #CPFC #LFC #MCFC #Football #Soccer #WeekendVibes
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Thomas Jackson retweeted
We’re seeing our UK friends complaining about @ITVSport showing in-game ads during the @SixNationsRugby. We’ve had them for years, and we’re fine, honest…
#SixNationsRugby
#SixNationsRugby
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Come on @ITVSport. In-game ads are the start of a very American slippery slope. It starts with ads during the rugby, it ends with kids taking guns to school. Don’t be responsible for that.
#SixNationsRugby #SixNations2026
#SixNationsRugby #SixNations2026
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No, @ITVSport. The in-game @SixNationsRugby ads are AWFUL. I thought the agreement was that the ads were silent and the commentary continued?!?
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Absolute headloss 😂😂😂
Its going to be so beautiful when the Mackems who are in my mentions see their team get walloped at SJP in 2026, and then get relegated next year 😍
Live off your big day out - because trust me, I’ll be here adding to your years the second you go down again
And with a higher spend than Real Madrid this year - we can hope for administration for all you rats aswell 🐀
CANNOT WAIT 💦
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Renowned patriot and grifter @antmiddleton just cheering on a foreign leader attempting to siphon off $1b of taxpayer money.
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Is this a @BrassEyeNews sketch?
Murderers shouldn’t be sat in prison playing Xbox.
Officers shouldn’t have to be bringing the Southport murderer Haribo.
David Lammy must change these cushy and ridiculous rules today.
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Is it just me, or does the first verse of The Life Of A Showgirl by @taylorswift13 sound a whole lot like @frankturner’s phrasing?
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Feel bad for the chap behind me on the train. He went to see @CalvinHarris but he was “fucking sick”. Dreadful luck.
Get well soon Calvin.
Get well soon Calvin.
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Someone needs to tell @taylorswift13’s fans that one copy of an album is quite enough, and that they’re probably in a cult at this point.
Fun album though.
Fun album though.
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The standard of teaching of spelling and grammar at the University Of Life leaves a lot to be desired. I’d love to see the @Ofstednews report.
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Pubs aren’t closing because of beer prices, covid, war, or healthier living,
They’re closing because we’re running out of ex-footballers to run them.
They’re closing because we’re running out of ex-footballers to run them.
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“They’ve got Alexander #Isak’s transfer request,
They’ve got Alexander Isak’s transfer request,
They’ve got Alexander Isak’s transfer request…
#Newcastle’s a massive club… are they f***!”
They’ve got Alexander Isak’s transfer request,
They’ve got Alexander Isak’s transfer request…
#Newcastle’s a massive club… are they f***!”
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I’ve a huge amount of time for @ChiOnwurah, but the voting record from this evening will show her on the wrong side of history. At least @KateOsborneMP had the good grace to abstain - thank you.
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