The way she looks at me when I suggest we take an Uber instead of the eco-friendly tram
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Imagine if the spy had been European.
She’d have spent the entire affair persuading Jensen to build a slightly slower, more energy-efficient version that qualifies for an EU green taxonomy badge
She’d have spent the entire affair persuading Jensen to build a slightly slower, more energy-efficient version that qualifies for an EU green taxonomy badge
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Here's some fuel for all the Europoor haters:
Germany just told us we'd have to fire one of our 3 founders to qualify for funding.
I was in talks with a German state-backed fund of fund managing billions, with one single mandate: invest in German funds to drive innovation and economic growth in the country.
They literally told me they like us a lot and are also impressed by our track record and performance so far, and even though not everyone in their team is a fan of our thesis, they believe in it.
But they passed for a whole different reason:
Because our all-male team of 3 people isn't "diverse enough" lol.
they literally told me: hire two more female partners (impossible on the economics of a fund our size), or let one of the three of us go to make room for a quota hire. do that, and they'd strongly consider investing.
I won't even get into how discriminatory this is toward men in the first place. nobody takes that seriously anyway, and honestly I don't care.
but what actually gets me is something bigger: as a German, I have to face the fact that the whole world continuing to laugh at Germany and overall Europe is completely justified.
a system that quietly kills the smallest, hungriest teams, the exact ones this money was created to support. and then everyone acts surprised that talent and capital keep leaving the country.
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I had one job.
Catch my flight.
My journey to the airport should have taken 45 minutes.
Then I encountered a both a climate and Palestinian protest blocking the road.
So I took the bus.
Big mistake.
Within 3 stops, someone asked me for money.
Two stops later, another person tried selling me something.
By the time we reached the city centre, I had been offered bracelets, flowers, counterfeit sunglasses and a petition to save the planet.
I finally reached the airport.
Sweating. Late. €18 poorer.
I sprinted through security and made it to the gate just in time.
Then an announcement came over the speakers.
“Ladies and gentlemen, due to a bomb threat, this flight will be delayed indefinitely.”
Silence.
Then the man next to me opened his suitcase.
“Anyone want to buy some sunglasses?”
Catch my flight.
My journey to the airport should have taken 45 minutes.
Then I encountered a both a climate and Palestinian protest blocking the road.
So I took the bus.
Big mistake.
Within 3 stops, someone asked me for money.
Two stops later, another person tried selling me something.
By the time we reached the city centre, I had been offered bracelets, flowers, counterfeit sunglasses and a petition to save the planet.
I finally reached the airport.
Sweating. Late. €18 poorer.
I sprinted through security and made it to the gate just in time.
Then an announcement came over the speakers.
“Ladies and gentlemen, due to a bomb threat, this flight will be delayed indefinitely.”
Silence.
Then the man next to me opened his suitcase.
“Anyone want to buy some sunglasses?”
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Europe has officially more bomb threats than working-age people to staff the bomb squads.
BREAKING: Reports of bomb threats have forced a number of planes across Europe to make unplanned landings across Europe this morning
Sky's @StothardTV reports
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Europe has a demographic problem that cannot be fixed overnight.
1.34 children per woman.
An ageing population.
More deaths than births.
Who's going to pay for Europe's future?
1.34 children per woman.
An ageing population.
More deaths than births.
Who's going to pay for Europe's future?
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EUROPE, 07:42 AM.
I woke up this morning to find out that Sweden, Belgium, Luxembourg and Estonia were experiencing a rather unusual problem.
Their supermarket refrigerators had been hacked.
Food was going off. Freezers were heating up. Supermarkets were throwing away thousands of euros worth of stock.
I laughed. Typical Europe.
Then Ireland was hit.
Then the Netherlands.
Then Finland.
Suddenly, the jokes weren't quite as funny.
I decided to visit my local supermarket to stock up before the situation got any worse.
The shelves were already looking suspiciously empty.
A man was arguing with a cashier over the last packet of frozen peas.
A mother was filling her trolley with enough milk to supply a small village.
I grabbed two baguettes, some cheese and a packet of frozen chips.
€47.80.
I nearly had a heart attack.
By lunchtime, Brussels had called an emergency meeting.
The European Commission assured citizens that the situation was under control and that there was no immediate threat to food security.
They also announced the formation of a 27-member task force to investigate the matter.
By 3 PM, reports emerged of further disruptions.
By 5 PM, the task force had scheduled another meeting.
By 7 PM, the European Commission had launched a website explaining how to keep food fresh without refrigeration.
By 9 PM, I had eaten the cheese.
I don't know who is behind this attack.
I don't know what they want
But I do know one thing.
If they touch the baguettes, we riot.
Europoor.
I woke up this morning to find out that Sweden, Belgium, Luxembourg and Estonia were experiencing a rather unusual problem.
Their supermarket refrigerators had been hacked.
Food was going off. Freezers were heating up. Supermarkets were throwing away thousands of euros worth of stock.
I laughed. Typical Europe.
Then Ireland was hit.
Then the Netherlands.
Then Finland.
Suddenly, the jokes weren't quite as funny.
I decided to visit my local supermarket to stock up before the situation got any worse.
The shelves were already looking suspiciously empty.
A man was arguing with a cashier over the last packet of frozen peas.
A mother was filling her trolley with enough milk to supply a small village.
I grabbed two baguettes, some cheese and a packet of frozen chips.
€47.80.
I nearly had a heart attack.
By lunchtime, Brussels had called an emergency meeting.
The European Commission assured citizens that the situation was under control and that there was no immediate threat to food security.
They also announced the formation of a 27-member task force to investigate the matter.
By 3 PM, reports emerged of further disruptions.
By 5 PM, the task force had scheduled another meeting.
By 7 PM, the European Commission had launched a website explaining how to keep food fresh without refrigeration.
By 9 PM, I had eaten the cheese.
I don't know who is behind this attack.
I don't know what they want
But I do know one thing.
If they touch the baguettes, we riot.
Europoor.
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