Yeah...I was old school. I think I was SG #90-sumthin

You can't see someone and assume they are healthy or unhealthy just by looking at them

have u ever just wanted to pull yr face off because other humans are just too infuriatingly dull?

i just chased my gf into the kitchen insisting that #Ramirez is waaaay cuter than #Bundy- she honestly feels no way which so ever #weirdo

flowers are how plants laugh- #why?

In hospital&came 4 times in a row watching @MandyMorbid porn. i think the nurse can smell the girl cum aroma

sometimes i agree with auto correct #DrunkTyping

#PetPeeve when people in movies shoot dope between their toes. Trust me that doesn't work

i almost forgot how awesome masturbation is until i spent all night on pornhub hanging w/my magic wand. #TooManyOrgasamsToCount

i fucking hate my tolerance level.ive taken 40mg of oxys&12mg of dilaudid&its barely helping my pain #Asplenic #ChronicPain #Ouch

I am fucking swooning over Cait Jenner

Ever realised how fucking surreal reading a book actually is? You stare at marked slices of tree for hours on end, hallucinating vividly

I am so annoyed. Save me

#TrueStory: my bowels got a thorough cleaning. Thank you #enema

spraying hella hairspray on these lousy house flies. #DEATH

one of the many joys of being in the hospital is getting woken up every single time you finally manage to fall asleep.

i have nothing better to do then jerk off again and hopefully squirt this time

the person sleeping next to me sounds like my dead ex.i keep looking over&getting confused when it's a woman.she snores just like him.

guys that sit on their hands will get more tits in their face&more ass on their lap #StripperRealTalk