God, grant me the bello to accept the things I cannot change, the papoi to change the things I can, and the banana to know the difference
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When you piss someone off so bad they go through your photos and unlike the ones where you look really sexy >>>
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The true essence of Halloween is lost with staged, high-production photoshoots coming out days to weeks in advance. Real heads are MAYBE getting 2-3 acceptable photos and then falling down the stairs from being blissfully drunk
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niche Fran Lebowitz shade is exactly what I want to see when I open this app. Whack that old ho one more time for me.
Because she is more interested in being a socialite than writing, Fran Lebowitz’s career fell off. To rationalize this, she made up a theory that AIDS specifically targeted the smart, cool gay guys. If you think about what this says about living elder gays, it’s really rancid.
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I don't ruminate anymore but I do think "What's my favorite word? Bitch! Why they gotta say it like $hort? Bitch!" to myself at least 10x a day
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6:59 pm coffee so I can muster enough energy to go to Ulta 👍 #abuelita
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I’ll be like “I needed that laugh” and it’ll be something I said
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Unlocked an incredible new period symptom which I'm calling phantom fifth wisdom tooth 🤠
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When you arguing with someone online and see that they lost custody of their kids
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Getting a constellation of moderate chin acne after months of clear skin 72 hours before a Big Event >>>
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I don't think so. I think they would make me a judge and let me rewrite the laws
@laylology @terramatera You would have been disbarred and held in contempt. The might have even ordered a psych evaluation
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If I was Elizabeth Holmes' lawyer my defense would be centered around how she is an Aquarius with a Capricorn Venus
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