🚨 #BREAKING: Eaton Fire is rapidly approaching a facility storing hundreds of pounds of chlorine gas, per LA Fire radio traffic

Firefighters going door to door evacuating nearby residences

GET OUT NOW!

Tired of all these Zeppo babies (offspring of Zeppo Marx?)

A grub hub is also a compost bin, if we are talking about larva

Kamala looks like the president in one of those space movies set in the future

That was a real jerky one for me #earthquake

My new thing is “poppin’ bottles” as default reaction instead of thumbs up. Text me for champagne emoji 🍾

My friend Weedly has got an electric guitar instead of a head. He gets laid a lot, but I think deep down he just wishes he had a regular human head. I can tell when he's bluffing in poker because he fidgets with his whammy bar.

netnutz.net is taken? wtf

What’s up earthquake twitter - did ya feel that one

What an earthquake! What up twitter

Whenever I read a youtube comment that's like "this makes me nostalgic for something I've never experienced" I feel deja vu

Now too much time has passed for me to X about the earthquake

☀️ Mr. Sun ☀️

Deeply regret not buying this hat when I was at the Universal Studios gift shop.

🍊NEXT THURS 6/15 8PM

👄Talkies is back at @whammyanalogmedia

This month we got:

🧡Megan Gailey
🐅Casey Ley
🥕Jenny Yang
🍑Geri Courtney Austein
📙Joshua Kilcoyne

🧶Hosted by talkies crew Aviva Siegel, Land Smith, Nick Stargu, & George Chen

🎃Ticket link in bio!

had three missed calls from my mom this morn before she finally got her msg through

Product idea: bag full of do not eat packets with one piece of jerky

The power of cinema’s captivating storytelling

Talkies is coming back to the Bay with two✌️killer lineups!

🏞️ Sac Comedy Spot 4/10:
-Sad Vicious
-Becky Lynn
-Jesse Fernandez

🌉SF Punch Line 4/11:
-Sad Vicious
-Ashley Monique
-Jesse Fernandez

🎟️ Ticket link in bio!

From now on I’m only getting pictures taken of half my face. What’s the difference? You already know what the other half looks like - pretty much the same