Britain’s coming financial disaster, explained in under two minutes. By @LiamHalligan

Link to full episode in replies 👇

NEVER EVER TRUST A DIRTY FVCKING MUSLIM

Kemi Badenoch tore Labour to shreds today at the budget. A serious leader.

“They love to dish it, but they can’t take it.”

“Those on benefits are getting an increase, those going out to work are not. That is not fair…Labour are addicted to welfare”.

We deserve better.

Tax his land, Tax his bed,

Tax the table, At which he's fed.

Tax his tractor, Tax his mule,

Teach him taxes are the rule.

Tax his work, Tax his pay,

He works for peanuts anyway!

Tax his cow, Tax his goat, Tax his pants, Tax his coat.

Tax his ties, Tax his shirt, Tax

Tax his tobacco, Tax his drink, Tax him if he Tries to think.

Tax his cigars, Tax his beers, If he cries Tax his tears.

Tax his car, Tax his gas, Find any way To tax his ass!

Tax him all he has, then let him know

That you won't be done Till he has no dough.

When he screams and when he hollers;

Then tax him more, take all his dollars

Then tax his coffin, Tax his grave,

Tax the sod in Which he's laid...

Put these words Upon his tomb:

‘Taxes drove me to my doom...'

When he's gone, Do not relax,

It's time to apply Inheritance Tax!

#BudgetDay

If you're on benefits and voted Labour, well done you, 👍👍

If You're a working man and voted Labour. What the fcuk have you done. 😂😂

To any minister claiming the country is united behind more funding for Ukraine: kindly deduct me from the headcount.

A roomful of MPs nodding at one another is not a national opinion poll. You cannot volunteer my agreement simply because you’ve already volunteered my taxes.

My position is straightforward: no more British taxpayer money for Ukraine. I want that spending directed towards British people.

The existing military commitment alone is £3 billion a year.

Yet ask for meaningful improvements at home and we’re invited to appreciate the complexity of public finances. Difficult choices. Limited resources. Competing priorities.

I understand competing priorities perfectly. I’m telling you which country I think should come first.

Britain.

I want accessible healthcare, decent roads, affordable energy, proper support for our veterans and public services that justify what we pay for them.

Perhaps British patients could hold an international summit. Apparently a waiting room needs flags and a joint communiqué before anyone becomes terribly decisive.

And could we have some of that “for as long as it takes” determination applied to fixing this country?

The people paying for these commitments deserve more than a lecture about why their objections are inconvenient.

Ministers are entitled to argue for continued funding. They should explain the costs, defend the priorities and acknowledge that people disagree.

What they should stop doing is announcing national agreement from the comfort of a chamber whose members have already agreed with themselves.

You may have Westminster’s applause.

You do not have mine.

Yours, suggesting the British government develop an interest in Britain,
A Gentleman from the Old School. 🎩

Labour are the party who will take £500 extra off you in taxes. Then they will give you £5 back and will want praise for cutting your costs, even though you’re still £495 worse off.

Andy Burnham and John Healey are gaslighting you. Snake oil sales men. Never trust Labour ⚠️

"Who is bankrolling Nigel Farage's party?" asks Bridget Phillipson. "Labour will protect our democracy from foreign influence."

Right. Same question back.

Who is bankrolling Labour, and the machine around it?

Gary Lubner. South African. Former Autoglass chief. Millions.

Lord lends the flat.

George Soros. Money into Best for Britain and Fair Vote, routed through a London outpost, which is how a foreign fortune gets round a ban on foreign donations.

Pierre Omidyar. French-Iranian, eBay founder, funding the campaign groups.

Bill Gates. In for the photo call.

Swedish philanthropists. Bloomberg.

And Verbatim, which made the Channel 4 sting she is riding, is itself funded from abroad. So the watchdog on foreign money is on foreign money.

And those are off the top of my head. No research. Give me an afternoon and the list fills a page.

So the party promising to protect democracy from foreign influence is up to its neck in it, legally, through the same door, and has proposed no cap that would inconvenience a single person in the room. They held a drinks party for them in Downing Street.

The question is not who is bankrolling Farage. It is why Labour thinks the answer changes depending on whose name is on the cheque.

"Protect our democracy from foreign influence." They would not know where to start.

Look, I know families are worried about rising unemployment, I get it. That’s why today, we’re going to make it even more expensive for employers to hire you.

Somalians are nothing but blood sucking low IQ parasites feeding off the system. Send them back.

All I’ve heard during the session in House of Commons is talk about foreign issues, foreign disasters, foreign struggles, foreign treatment of women, international aid and NOTHING about UK. Our MP’s have foreign agendas.

The collapse of our country as we know it…

Why are Labour so manifestly dishonest?

I cannot believe how Labour are now ahead on some polls?

Bapman is worse than Starmer, wtf is going on?

Scienceberg and Sciencestein can’t trick us 🩵

If HMRC are allowed to take money from individuals’ bank accounts, as proposed in the budget today, then we are heading to a dark place.

This tool could be used against anyone deemed to be a threat by the government of the day.

Madness!

A great rant from a friend:

“I don't know who's running the British newspapers at the moment, but I reckon somebody's accidentally given the editorial jobs to a bunch of fucking doomsday preppers.

Have you seen the absolute state of the news lately?

World War Three. Nuclear Armageddon. Russian cyberattacks. Chinese hackers. Emergency survival kits. How to prepare for the end of civilisation.

Every bloody newspaper seems to be running the same story.

You'd think Vladimir Putin had been spotted at Dover services with a tank and a packed lunch.

And apparently, the most important thing we can do to prepare for all this is go shopping.

Seriously.

We're being advised to stockpile food, water, torches, batteries and enough toilet roll to survive the collapse of Western civilisation.

Do they genuinely believe we're all going to read these articles, leap off the sofa and charge down to Asda like there's a fucking trolley dash on?

I reckon somebody's looked at the Christmas retail figures and thought, "How can we get these bastards to spend another two hundred quid?"

"Tell them the Russians are coming."

"Brilliant. We'll shift those seventeen pallets of corned beef we've had sitting in the warehouse since Easter."

And what exactly am I supposed to do with all these emergency supplies if there's a nuclear attack?

Imagine it.

You're sitting in your living room, minding your own business, when suddenly there's an enormous flash outside.

The windows explode. The roof comes off. There's a nuclear shockwave tearing through the city, flattening everything in its path.

And there you are, crawling across the kitchen floor, desperately trying to get the fucking tin opener out of the drawer.

"QUICK! SOMEBODY GET THE BEANS!"

What fucking difference are beans going to make?

You're about to be vaporised at several thousand degrees. I don't think the nutritional benefits of baked beans are going to be particularly relevant.

But the politicians are the funniest part of all this.

Angela Rayner was asked what she'd be stockpiling.

Sauvignon Blanc and mascara.

Sauvignon Blanc and fucking mascara!

I love that.

The world's coming to an end, millions could die, civilisation might collapse, but Angela's making sure she's got a decent bottle of white and her eyelashes done.

Then Andy Burnham comes along telling people not to stockpile alcohol because they need to keep a clear head.

Well, thank Christ we've got that sorted.

One politician's preparing for the apocalypse like she's going to an all-inclusive resort in Tenerife, and another's telling everybody to drink responsibly.

And apparently Andy's emergency supplies include Twiglets.

Fucking Twiglets.

I mean, at what point did the national security discussion turn into everybody comparing what they've brought to a children's birthday party?

We're supposedly facing the possibility of World War Three, and our political leaders are having a conversation that wouldn't sound out of place in the middle aisle of Aldi.

And then there's the cyberattack warnings.

Apparently, Russia or China could launch a massive cyberattack and bring down our communications, electricity supplies and essential services.

Right.

And what am I supposed to do about that?

Unplug the kettle?

Put the laptop in a biscuit tin?

I can just imagine some highly trained Russian cyberwarfare specialist sitting in Moscow, surrounded by millions of pounds' worth of sophisticated computer equipment.

"Comrade, we have penetrated the British national infrastructure."

"Excellent. Shut down their electricity."

"We cannot, sir."

"Why not?"

"Some bastard in Ellesmere Port has wrapped his Virgin Media router in fucking Bacofoil."

It's a good job Churchill isn't around to witness this.

"We shall fight them on the beaches. We shall fight in the fields and in the streets. We shall never surrender."

"Unless we've run out of Pot Noodles, in which case we're absolutely fucked."

What a fucking pantomime.”

We will never get rid of these people if they are allowed to come here. Every Gazan has been indoctrinated since Hamas took control. This risks our safety….