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ape, 4 million years ago: [contentedly eating roots]

god: check this out

angel: what

god: it's about to develop self-awareness

ape: [stops chewing] oh, son of a BITCH

god: lol

angel: lol
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if A Quiet Place had come out during the peak parody movie years of 2001-2005 the Wayans Brothers would have eaten it alive. the fart jokes alone could carry 90 minutes
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would anyone like to take a guess at which former vancouver mayor is currently the housing minister in Carney’s government
In Canada, we take care of each other.
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a fascinating side-effect of prolonged Trump dominance in right wing politics: conservatism has become incredibly queeny. i did musical theatre in high school and it was less gay than this
Duffy: Let’s talk about hot guys

Bush: That connects to Abdul

Duffy: It does
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Replying to @dunksdeux
this is very much a return to tradition, it has to be said. the psychic nexus of far-right politics is physical domination, and that begets a neurotic fixation on the male body which invites, uh, let’s say Ernst Röhm types.
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extremely funny to post this when the separation of pakistan and india has led to multiple wars, the creation of a new country, two nuclear powers at one another’s throats, and the proxy annihilation of afghanistan’s civil society
Why is Pakistan’s legitimacy never questioned but Israel’s is? They were created around the same time under the same circumstances.

7,000,000 Hindus were displaced. The “Nakhba” was 700,000 but Palestinians won’t shut up about it.
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Replying to @dunksdeux
buddy, the legitimacy is not the issue. the entire history since 1947 is an object lesson in how colonial division of religious groups is a bad fucking idea
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showed this to my wife, who is a certified AP Lit teacher:
Wow, a pretty damning article with diverse lines of evidence.
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The median American stress response is to buy more treats. Don’t be distracted by the specific form they take or the “my rights” grandstanding: this is just treat-buying. No different from the people who stocked up on Four Loko before the caffine and guarana were removed.
POV: GUN PEOPLE AFTER MIDTERM VOTES ARE IN
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duncan b-梁 🦦🇵🇸 retweeted
Albertans man
shit in the cities too lmfao
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i'm putting my money in early. the next two years are going to be trump becoming more isolated and losing himself in vainglorious memories of the past. Orb Pondering presidency. his favourite movie is Sunset Boulevard, the signs are there
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meanwhile, in vancouver politics, our new mayor has been decisively blessed with good fortune
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duncan b-梁 🦦🇵🇸 retweeted
TRUMP CANCELS PUBLIC APPEARANCES
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duncan b-梁 🦦🇵🇸 retweeted
We saw you across the bar and we demand you denounce the Muslim Brotherhood.
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apropos of nothing, it's really stupid that polymarket is functionally a bet-on-everything platform rather than the world's greasiest dating app for nonmonogamy
BREAKING: Democrats' chances of sweeping both the House & Senate surge to new highs on Election Day.

75% chance.

🔗 polymarket.com/r/BoP26
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they 100% know they're fucked tomorrow and just put him out there to talk about DC construction projects because they know it makes him happy. this is like giving a dog a burger before it gets put down
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duncan b-梁 🦦🇵🇸 retweeted
getting honeypotted by this is crazy
Wait wait wait wait wait she met this guy and got ENGAGED TO HIM in the THREE MONTHS since the primary?
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duncan b-梁 🦦🇵🇸 retweeted
Something that changed as I got older and gained experience with death: I find myself more open to plainly stated expressions of neediness. I use to bristle when loved ones directly asked me for attention but now I'm much more receptive to "I need a friend right now." So many seek attention through manipulation, lying, and aggression and I want to reward someone kindly and sincerely asking me to be there for them without resorting to mean tricks
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we replaced our old oven, and man, they really don’t just beep anymore. the old one would go “ding, i’m preheated” and the new one is like “now i will sing you the song of my people”
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what we’re witnessing today is the result of haley stevens’ Golem Chip being activated early. they were gonna pop it once she got the senate seat like they did for fetterman, but al-sayed won the primary and here we are
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