vote. vote because the whales need you to. vote because the country need you to. vote because the world needs you to. i don’t give a fuck what your excuse is, go vote. we might not get another chance.
2
43
425
6,225
everything i’ve written about the cornell rapists seems inadequate, so let me just say this as a man instead of a whale: no, i don’t think we should “ruin” these rapists’ lives “just because they raped someone”.
i think we should end them.
i think we should end them.
11
118
1,558
19,994
ed sheeran can’t go on tour at all if he gets eaten by a whale. and don’t even worry about the whale’s diet, as they’re used to eating invertebrates
17
856
9,808
89,605
many people think whales would be bad at football given they have no concept of the sport nor the ability to move freely on land, but so far this season, whales have scored the exact same amount of goals as the entire tottenham hotspurs starting eleven
32
755
11,463
197,981
the whales do not give a fuck what you looked like in the 80’s and would rather you not destroy our planet so we have a chance to see what we might look like in the 30’s
0
1,177
7,437
49,979
dolly parton, the whales sing for you tonight, rest in peace and know your light reached even the darkest expanses of this world
13
1,053
10,806
72,326
whales never use generative AI, but they do make poop from a butt, which is similar except that whale poop is essential to the health of our oceans and generative AI is essential to being a fucking loser
24
2,984
24,990
457,075
a whale would never give you explosive diarrhea doodoo disease, probably because there is no scenario in which a whale would gut the CDC and other programs directly responsible for mitigating the risk of explosive diarrhea doodoo disease
3
134
1,406
22,150
the biggest difference between whales and lindsey graham is that the whales have never actively worked against the betterment of their own constituents and also many whales are currently alive
7
442
5,667
82,681
the whales are not responsible for anything that may or may not have happened to mitch mcconnell, other than that which whales do for all humanity
5
35
379
9,141
due to rising production costs and inflation, following playstation’s example, whales will no longer appear in physical form. while these new digital whales offer none of the advantages of an actual physical breathing whale, we have found that we don’t care, because profit is up
2
26
328
7,071
“i asked chatgpt” well i asked a whale and she said “OOooOooOOOOoo
oOooo” and then sank a yacht
oOooo” and then sank a yacht
39
4,621
43,831
424,686
regardless of gender, if you need one today, any whale is large enough to be your big whale daddy. happy father’s day to all dads, whales, and whale daddies
0
19
165
6,733
my whales are enormous
my global is warming
every day it gets harder to survive
knicks in five
my global is warming
every day it gets harder to survive
knicks in five
0
11
112
5,031
apologies in advance if the whales do not show up to your social events this month, they’re just very busy being extra gay rn
0
31
201
6,797