In order to make Data great and glorious again, I am announcing I completed the online application process to get my job back.
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MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENT! After many years of working with data, radical developers will become AI-curious. This must be stopped!
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After months of not returning my texts, suddenly my former coworkers want to speak to me again?
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Most DBAs struggle with getting restores done, especially for large databases. But it's always been easy for me, I just have to think about it and its done.
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As a DBA, some say the best DBA ever, really, I know better than anyone how easy it is to have data stolen from a database. That's why I keep the important stuff on paper, and place it where people aren't likely to look. SECURITY BY OBSCURITY!
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The data was classified, and possibly there were some nuclear codes and stuff, but it’s not like I stole PII data or violated the GDPR because I’m a professional.
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She changed her code a couple of days ago, and with it, her database performance totally changed. SHOCKER???
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The dev is going into the database, storing JSON inside of XML. You gotta say, that’s pretty savvy. How smart is that?
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New guy ran away during a production issue instead of following the plan I had left for him to follow. A plan that protected our data AND our code! The devs no longer have fear or respect for the DBA.
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The dev team has, for whatever reason, also refused to produce the network routers. You want me to tune your query? Well, we want the routers, Sonny.
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#Eurovision voting is a fraud on the American public. This is an embarrassment to our country. We were getting ready to win this competition. Frankly, we did win this competition.
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The entire database has been DELETED! This is illegal! At some point it will be impossible to recover!
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Look, I’m not here to tell you how to do things right, I’m here to tell you all the ways you did it wrong.
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TrumpDBA retweeted
Happy #CincoDeMayo! The best taco bowls and databases are made from Mexicans. I love Modern_Spanish_CI_AS.
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