When the dog steals your spot

@kenjimallon 100% guilt-free! 💕

How's your day going? I almost needed bail money because a constable told me I needed to train our receptionist to smile once in a while

(@gin__erso @hotoynoodle)

@gin__erso @hotoynoodle I bit my lip so hard I drew blood, because I really didn't have time to go to jail today

@kenjimallon @gin__erso @hotoynoodle I can’t go to jail because they don’t have my hair products there.

✅Claimed! I've got 4 free gifts, can you take the gift and accept my invitation? 9 free gifts from top-notch activity TEMU Free Gifts for me and you'll get yours!
temu.com/s/2aF6GBSOUaF6…

@grrl_geek @chapmandew @GSPJackJack So sorry for your loss! He was a very good boy!! Sending much love!

If you haven't seen the latest from @wearkizik you're missing out! Best hands-free shoes EVER! kizik.com

I have to pee but there's 30 lbs of GSD head on my knees

@kenjimallon Canine paralysis!

R.E.M.

@kenjimallon Adam Ant- the Strip tour

How old is the oldest item of clothing you own that gets worn regularly*?

*not necessarily weekly, but at least a couple times a year

@kenjimallon 33 years- it is a sweatshirt from my sophomore year of high school.

@AMtwo The Bitey Face game is strong with these two! Such fortitude!

@SQLSpouse @CBellDBA if you guys are in Nova Scotia still...

@pareshmotiwala @CBellDBA Looks crazy! We have family there- but have not been up since pre-COVID.

Which cookie from this week's lineup has your heart? Drop the emoji below! 👇

🍰 RASPBERRY CHEESECAKE
🥧 FRENCH SILK PIE
🥜 PEANUT BUTTER BLOSSOM
🍋 LEMON POPPY SEED
🍿 CARAMEL POPCORN

@crumblcookies French Silk Pie!

Raise your hand if you're ignoring work right now by scrolling on Twitter ✋

Instead of telling your boss, we'll pick FIVE people to send a 4-Pack box!

@crumblcookies 👋

Solo Stove x Misfits Market Grill Anywhere Giveaway wn.nr/yC5Ljz

"I hurt my foot jumping out of bed, please send snacks, my fathers do not feed me ever"

@kenjimallon @Day_z_spotz Poor mistreated princess!! Being the dog is hard!! You DESERVE snacks!

I forgot to tweet our happy hour cocktails

@kenjimallon Without my glasses- I totally thought you were garnishing with arachnids!😳

@Elphie_Pup Dad is a great pillow!

@Elphie_Pup Don’t call the authorities- but sometimes we make Sven and Digby stay up 4 or 5 hours a day!

Hey, it's 2022 and I just got called a f*ggot at the Pru

@kenjimallon I love you! People are ignorant. Dogs are superior!

@AMtwo @Elphie_Pup She is surveying her lands!

Happy 10th Birthday to this butt

@kenjimallon Have a fantastical birthday, Day-Z!!! (Ask for steak) 😁😘