“Nowadays it’s about as big a crime to be Dumb, as it is dishonest.” – February 3, 1929

“It ain’t taxes that’s hurting this country; it’s interest.” – January 6, 1924

“Our public men are speaking every day on something but they ain't saying a thing.” - June 10, 1923

“I hope we never live to see the day when a thing is as bad as some of our newspapers make it.” - July 19, 1934

“A Democrat is naturally windier than a Republican, He is out of office more and he has more time to think up things to say.” - Sept 14, 1928

“There is something about a Republican politician, they are smart but they just don’t know much.” – July 4, 1934

“It costs ten times more to govern us than it used to, and we are not governed one-tenth as good.” - March 28, 1932

“There is nothing as short-sighted as a politician.” - September 12, 1926

“Don’t ever tell us Friday is unlucky. Didn’t Congress adjourn today?” – March 5, 1927

“The best way to judge just how good a man is, is to find out how he stands around his home and among his kind of people.” - November 21, 1926

“Machines are a great thing, but if one replaces a hundred men, it don't buy anything, it don't eat anything, while the hundred men spend theirs back for food, shelter, and hundreds of various commodities for them and their families.” - September 6, 1931

There is only one fair way to ever arrange amateur athletics in any line in this country and that’s let the athletes work on commission of what they draw at the gate, then make them pay their own schooling expenses.” – May 27, 1929

“Humanity is not yet ready for either real truth or real harmony.” – June 15, 1923

“There is no more interesting place in the world to meet characters than a Movie set. If you have lost anybody anywhere in the World and don’t know where they are, they are in Hollywood trying to get in the Movies.” – September 20, 1931

You know there is a great tendency all over the Country now to be High Brow. Everybody is four-flushing and pretending they are not what they really are, especially here in New York. More people should work for their Dinner instead of dressing for it.” – February 25, 1923

“I just wonder if it ain’t just cowardice instead of generosity that makes us give most of our tips.” - November 25, 1923

“They are pretty bad, these big wars over Commerce. They kill more people. But one over religion is really the most bitter.” - September 8, 1929

“I certainly know that a comedian can only last till he either takes himself serious or his audience takes him serious, and I don’t want either one of those to happen to me till I am dead (if then).” - June 29, 1931

“This country sure is organized, and this country sure is advertised. When we arrive at the poor house, we will be the best advertised nation that was ever admitted In fact, it’s paying dues to organizations and advertising that will put us there.” – November 11, 1930

“You see art is when you do something just cockeyed from what is the right way to do it, then it’s art.” – October 2, 1932