Man sorry for that depressed schizoid episode

Another russian roulette for tonight, hope this one works.

Considering what I just saw, I definitely shot up with one of my kidneys. Can't tell which one so I'm somewhat succeeding, don't think I will make it to 23 which means I probably won't have to deal with the bullshit this created.

the kidney is fine wth, i was just extremely dehydrated.

have to admit, the pain is unreal, i can't even see properly anymore, too much static

I sent a message, probably won't get a reply. Would be nice to hear smtg nice back but I doubt.

I hate frying myself in this place, wouldn't have sacrificed the kidney but oh well, the EMS are here to "help"

I don't understand why I get punished for having a bad mental health, my eyes are aching from tears, having a horrible migraine, my heart is killing me and not to mention the burning sensation all over my body and now I'm locked again...

I guess I don't deserve good treatment, if I want to dig my own grave, why not let me be, I'm not harming anyone, I'm not bothering anyone, why torture me like this.

I'm being treated really really well wow

Was thinking about going outside but meh, it does not look pretty out.

Imma play russian roulette tonight, feels like my soul was drained tonight.

Honestly, one thing that my friend told me that really stick with me, "imagine dying right before patch tuesday"
Honestly I'm thinking maybe I should automate the disclosure, I mean PoC already exists

survived it, somehow, again, i'll try again later, body and brain needs a break

The pegasus bike

@gothburz You are laying off people, from experience, I want people to understand that if you received the email then it's just a matter of time. Take the easy cash and land yourself something better instead.
If you don't, don't be shocked when termination letter hits your mailbox.

Is it really worth living in a world where you're living in constant terror, living in constant pain with zero hope for anything in the future, I really tried to be optimistic recently but life teaches me a lesson, never ever be optimistic, it's all bad news.

If I had the tiniest thing to live for, I will still fight but I almost lost everything worth living for and soon I will lose it all.
Wish if Microsoft puts me out of my misery.

you don't like me whining, hit the unfollow button, this is my shitty online diary, the cool stuff is posted in github, follow there if you don't want to see this miserable bs of mine