Yo! @NandosUK as it’s #TBT any chance I could still claim my free chicken?

ZOZOTOWN新春セールが史上最速で取扱高100億円を先ほど突破！！日頃の感謝を込め、僕個人から100名様に100万円【総額1億円のお年玉】を現金でプレゼントします。応募方法は、僕をフォローいただいた上、このツイートをRTするだけ。受付は1/7まで。当選者には僕から直接DMします！ #月に行くならお年玉

I was today days old when I realised that @DrinkRobinsons screw cap had a built-in flip top. #Mindblown

Hands down #Chaalbaaz & #Tridev my fave #Bollywood movies of all time #fresh #fob #dontcare

Sunday league - broken on a Monday #dirtytackles

Beach time. @ Saadyat Beach instagram.com/p/BOZonSnD74Oz…

My old #Cartier has a new friend, vintage collection coming along… instagram.com/p/BM9p6OGjw--D…

#president #Trump huh? While the real question is... #pleasedonttakeourtacos #tacotuesdays #folife #tacobell

8 años despues repetimos foto!! // Nice to share box with this world champion @NickyHayden !! 8 years later...📸#ThrowbackThursday #ttb

After a long day at the office... no better form of meditation #Daytona #675 #triumph #torque #triple #dainese #arai

When people point out the obvious 🤔😑

Chat shit, get banged... Poetry for modern times #London

#Arai helmet, #Dainese gloves, #RST leathers and boots... Adventure coming soon #cannotwait

Final trip booked for this year! #flyaway #outwiththeold #happy

Tippex

The sound of millions of Brits quietly saying "pub?" begins to sweep across the land...

Dog chat:
1. He/she's lovely!
2. Name?
3. What breed?
4. How old?
-end-

One-word solutions to all problems:
1. "Tea?"
2. "Pint?"
3. "Pub?"
4. "Cake?"

<recites long list of complaints, tragedies and grievances> "...but apart from that everything's fine"

Spending the entire summer saying "it's meant to be nice next week"