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Despite the fact that my Twitter feed often consists of taking shots at the appalling state of the world, I am not a morose or despairing person.
I’m a joyous cynic and a gladsome naysayer.
I’m a joyous cynic and a gladsome naysayer.
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I have tons of sympathy for ppl who’ve been victimized. Do whatever you need to do to protect yourself and manage that fear and pain. But understand that your template is not the template for the vast majority of families, and should not be the cautionary frame into which they must all be stuffed. Trauma is not the norm, and excessively guarding against it is not the *primary* function of families, and only serves to twist otherwise healthy families and instill unwarranted fear into children who were not, actually, at risk at all in that family. It is GOOD for children to trust their family in a manner that they do not extend to strangers. Can that trust be violated? Yes. And it’s horrible when it happens. But raising children to NOT trust their own family, while it might avoid that particular circumstance, does not make them healthy and strong. It cripples them in other ways.
@cybelethebestabused and traumatized. It’s very sad and wrong. Maybe what that person needs to do in order to feel safe changes after that - and that’s their business. But the solution to YOUR trauma is not to force everyone in the entire world to behave as if trauma is imminently looming in perfectly normal interactions.
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KeepCalmAndDrawl ☦️ retweeted
@ouranometrian2, none of this is bcz women are not capable of those tasks, or should not do them if need be. We can and should. A man, if he puts his organized mind to it, is more than capable of keeping track of and managing the social schedule. But for most men/women, there is stuff that is more our instinctive bent, and defaulting to those norms is not wrong or “unequal” - it’s just EASIER most of the time. Real outliers may have to do some negotiating - but guess what? Most ppl are not outliers on multiple axes, so defaulting to norms is just more efficient and less stress for both.
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Gender role task norms are neither some ironclad law to be enforced, nor some “inequality” to be chafed against. All they are is the distillation of what works and has worked best for *most* men/women over time. They are shortcuts to avoid having to negotiate EVERY little thing from scratch, then begrudgingly wind up at the old way anyway, except with everyone a bit mad and stressed. 😆
@ouranometrian2, none of this is bcz women are not capable of those tasks, or should not do them if need be. We can and should. A man, if he puts his organized mind to it, is more than capable of keeping track of and managing the social schedule. But for most men/women, there is stuff that is more our instinctive bent, and defaulting to those norms is not wrong or “unequal” - it’s just EASIER most of the time. Real outliers may have to do some negotiating - but guess what? Most ppl are not outliers on multiple axes, so defaulting to norms is just more efficient and less stress for both.
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Who lied to you and told you that being seen *as a woman* by a man was the route to disrespect, to being ever less-than, and that the height of “respect” was being seen just as he sees a man?
It’s a LIE, ladies. A bald-faced lie. Own your damn womanhood, and you’ll find that most men treat that with a tremendously deep well of respect. Oft puzzlement, as well. 😆 But respect.
It’s a LIE, ladies. A bald-faced lie. Own your damn womanhood, and you’ll find that most men treat that with a tremendously deep well of respect. Oft puzzlement, as well. 😆 But respect.
The reason why I feel immensely respected by my husband is not because he sees me exactly as he would a man. It is precisely because he does NOT see me that way that makes me feel genuinely seen, valued, and respected. Men generally have little difficulty genuinely respecting a woman who owns her own womanhood. Who is willing to allow “I am not you in some fundamental ways, and THAT is the place where I require respect for what I am - not the identical response you’d give another man.
Men respond beautifully to that. They respond very badly to “woman nose on, woman nose off” games that require him to CONSTANTLY gauge whether being treated like a man or treated like a woman is your demand at the moment.
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Yep. I’m always happy for those who find a good “patch” for whatever glitched. But it does not then follow that patches are a superior goal to a system properly designed to begin with.
@FormerlyFormer @PitagoRa10078 @PYeerk A trope that appears a lot in YA and media is the “found family” is always better than actual family.
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KeepCalmAndDrawl ☦️ retweeted
Clean the icky stuff (washing machines of all sorts)
Replace toilet parts
Clean the shower
Yard work in 100+ degree heat
Handle salesmen at the door
Any work or chores that his mom needs done
Clean dog mess from the carpet
Get on the tall ladder and risk his life
Honestly just have to deal with my ass through pregnancies
Replace toilet parts
Clean the shower
Yard work in 100+ degree heat
Handle salesmen at the door
Any work or chores that his mom needs done
Clean dog mess from the carpet
Get on the tall ladder and risk his life
Honestly just have to deal with my ass through pregnancies
Can you men give me a list of things men typically do in a marriage that they don’t want to do?
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KeepCalmAndDrawl ☦️ retweeted
The reason why I feel immensely respected by my husband is not because he sees me exactly as he would a man. It is precisely because he does NOT see me that way that makes me feel genuinely seen, valued, and respected. Men generally have little difficulty genuinely respecting a woman who owns her own womanhood. Who is willing to allow “I am not you in some fundamental ways, and THAT is the place where I require respect for what I am - not the identical response you’d give another man.
Men respond beautifully to that. They respond very badly to “woman nose on, woman nose off” games that require him to CONSTANTLY gauge whether being treated like a man or treated like a woman is your demand at the moment.
Men respond beautifully to that. They respond very badly to “woman nose on, woman nose off” games that require him to CONSTANTLY gauge whether being treated like a man or treated like a woman is your demand at the moment.
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Live with throw pillows. Get me a card even tho *why* this is so important to me is kinda a mystery to him. Refrain from “instructing” me when I’m having a bad day. Just rolling with it and endeavoring not to be frustrated when I, from his POV, just changed my mind 5 times. All things he does for me on the regular, that are not his natural bent. Thanks, babe.
Can you men give me a list of things men typically do in a marriage that they don’t want to do?
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The reason why I feel immensely respected by my husband is not because he sees me exactly as he would a man. It is precisely because he does NOT see me that way that makes me feel genuinely seen, valued, and respected. Men generally have little difficulty genuinely respecting a woman who owns her own womanhood. Who is willing to allow “I am not you in some fundamental ways, and THAT is the place where I require respect for what I am - not the identical response you’d give another man.
Men respond beautifully to that. They respond very badly to “woman nose on, woman nose off” games that require him to CONSTANTLY gauge whether being treated like a man or treated like a woman is your demand at the moment.
Men respond beautifully to that. They respond very badly to “woman nose on, woman nose off” games that require him to CONSTANTLY gauge whether being treated like a man or treated like a woman is your demand at the moment.
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KeepCalmAndDrawl ☦️ retweeted
@wil_da_beast630eird things about human nature. Stuff like “abundance would end envy, status seeking and competition.” But it won’t. Because beyond literal subsistence, NO ONE cares if they’re actually poor. They care how they compare to their neighbor. There is not a genuinely “poor” person, by global standards, in all of America. But they still mad. And upper classes with everything still fight and bitch and moan and backstab over status markers they create out of thin air if “money” becomes an ineffective one bcz they all have that. Abundance solves nothing, bcz this is how humans are.
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Everything always circles back to “we require the development of virtue” - and no system ever devised can solve that one for us.
@wil_da_beast630eird things about human nature. Stuff like “abundance would end envy, status seeking and competition.” But it won’t. Because beyond literal subsistence, NO ONE cares if they’re actually poor. They care how they compare to their neighbor. There is not a genuinely “poor” person, by global standards, in all of America. But they still mad. And upper classes with everything still fight and bitch and moan and backstab over status markers they create out of thin air if “money” becomes an ineffective one bcz they all have that. Abundance solves nothing, bcz this is how humans are.
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Men married to uber-hot wives (who know it) are often surprisingly easy to seduce. Just be *nice* to the dude, and there ya go, he’s cheating. Seen it a million times.
One of the most retarded ideas ever is that men cheat because of "relative hotness"
"Omg, I can't believe he cheated with that girl even though SHES LESS HOT than his wife!!"
Genuinely pea-brained analysis
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KeepCalmAndDrawl ☦️ retweeted
@PitagoRa10078 @PYeerk Teaching kids what is inappropriate *even from a family member* is an entirely separate issue from this basic reality.
You don’t solve abuse by teaching kids the only way to be safe is to be alone and atomized in the world.
You don’t solve abuse by teaching kids the only way to be safe is to be alone and atomized in the world.
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KeepCalmAndDrawl ☦️ retweeted
@PitagoRa10078p@PYeerk in for a hug (even if you aren’t exactly thrilled about it) is not in any way shape or form a violation the way it would be from some stranger, *because the relationship exists and is real* To teach children that “consent” applies in that context is to teach them that all relationships are flat and fungible, that the words “family” and “stranger” have no actual content that matters.
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I’d say the moon landing, but that wasn’t truly political. Probably Watergate, then. Kids were very aware of that one, primarily because it pre-empted ALL of the normal TV shows for hours and hours for weeks. Very annoyed, we were.
What is the oldest political news story you can remember? For me it's Joe Biden being selected as Obama's VP.
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KeepCalmAndDrawl ☦️ retweeted
@PitagoRa10078a@PYeerke not some absolute undifferentiated thing. And people *instinctively* know this. My sis can say things to me that I’ll laugh off, that coming from a stranger would make me rightly offended. My nephew can run through the kitchen and playfully snap at me with a dishtowel, whereas some random kid in a coffee shop doing that is WAY out of line. Don’t let the wokies “rationally” flatten all the things. It is not rational, it is insane and inhuman.
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KeepCalmAndDrawl ☦️ retweeted
@PitagoRa10078w@PYeerkly atomized and disconnected “we’re all equally gray sludge” people who can perceive no difference between a grandparent and any random stranger, and how that difference is *fundamentally* pertinent. And that this difference is ALSO a thing a child must learn.
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KeepCalmAndDrawl ☦️ retweeted
@PitagoRa10078 @PYeerkparent can hug “without consent” is because they are your grandparent. Because every person in the world is not, in fact, equally fungible. There are those with whom your bonds and obligations are primary, and this trails outward until you reach those whom you owe nothing besides basic courtesy. The woke must inevitably destroy family, because family cannot exist in a world of undifferentiated “equal” gray sludge. And that is the world their ideology aims to achieve.
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Any parent can tell you that sometimes a crying child is a needed alert to do a thing that’s doable, and sometimes it’s just a tantrum at how the world unavoidably is. Most protests these days lean to the latter - regardless of what past ones did. Ignoring the former is bad parenting. Not putting up with the latter is not.
@eigenrobot There is a huge leap from “protests once prompted a govt to do some good and actionable things” to “protests are inherently magical and make all the good things appear out of nowhere!”
Our young have, unfortunately, succumbed to the latter.
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KeepCalmAndDrawl ☦️ retweeted
@eigenrobot There is a huge leap from “protests once prompted a govt to do some good and actionable things” to “protests are inherently magical and make all the good things appear out of nowhere!”
Our young have, unfortunately, succumbed to the latter.
Our young have, unfortunately, succumbed to the latter.
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