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DUNCAN WHITEHEAD'S THE WOMBLES: THE 2026 REBOOT
Once upon a time, the Wombles of Wimbledon Common collected rubbish and things that everyday folk left behind. Now they collect grievances, pronouns and allegations of unconscious bias.
Great Uncle Bulgaria has been suspended for addressing a meeting with "Good morning, ladies and gentlemen."
Bungo is chairing the Emergency Gender Identity and Intersectionality Committee, while Tobermory has spent six months designing a gender-neutral litter picker that can't actually pick up litter until its equality impact assessment is complete.
Orinoco is on hunger strike for Palestine, although the strike is suspended for breakfast, elevenses, lunch, afternoon tea and whenever somebody opens a packet of crisps.
Meanwhile, Wimbledon Common has become an enormous unauthorised caravan site, surrounded by fly-tipped mattresses, discarded vapes and mountains of rubbish. The council has hailed it as "an exciting example of inclusive, community-led placemaking."
The Wombles haven't collected a single crisp packet in three years, but they've employed fourteen diversity consultants, appointed a Director of Palestinian Solidarity and declared the recycling bins a trans-inclusive safe space.
Madame Cholet finally loses her temper and asks, "CAN SOMEONE PLEASE PICK UP THE FUCKING RUBBISH?"
She is immediately suspended for creating a hostile working environment.
The Wombles. Coming soon to BBC One.
They're no longer making good use of rubbish. They're just recycling outrage.
Once upon a time, the Wombles of Wimbledon Common collected rubbish and things that everyday folk left behind. Now they collect grievances, pronouns and allegations of unconscious bias.
Great Uncle Bulgaria has been suspended for addressing a meeting with "Good morning, ladies and gentlemen."
Bungo is chairing the Emergency Gender Identity and Intersectionality Committee, while Tobermory has spent six months designing a gender-neutral litter picker that can't actually pick up litter until its equality impact assessment is complete.
Orinoco is on hunger strike for Palestine, although the strike is suspended for breakfast, elevenses, lunch, afternoon tea and whenever somebody opens a packet of crisps.
Meanwhile, Wimbledon Common has become an enormous unauthorised caravan site, surrounded by fly-tipped mattresses, discarded vapes and mountains of rubbish. The council has hailed it as "an exciting example of inclusive, community-led placemaking."
The Wombles haven't collected a single crisp packet in three years, but they've employed fourteen diversity consultants, appointed a Director of Palestinian Solidarity and declared the recycling bins a trans-inclusive safe space.
Madame Cholet finally loses her temper and asks, "CAN SOMEONE PLEASE PICK UP THE FUCKING RUBBISH?"
She is immediately suspended for creating a hostile working environment.
The Wombles. Coming soon to BBC One.
They're no longer making good use of rubbish. They're just recycling outrage.
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Hero.
vcgca.org/our-people/pro…
Awarded The George Cross, incredible and unselfish bravery as the end of Olaf's tribute shows.
God Bless young man and may you Rest in Eternal Peace ♥ 🏴 🙏
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Duncan Whitehead retweeted
31st October, 2004
Staff Sergeant Denise Michelle Rose, aged 34 from Liverpool, and of the Royal Military Police, died from gunshot wounds at the Army base at Shatt al-Arab Hotel, Basra, Iraq
Lest we Forget this brave lady who gave her all 🏴🇬🇧
Staff Sergeant Denise Michelle Rose, aged 34 from Liverpool, and of the Royal Military Police, died from gunshot wounds at the Army base at Shatt al-Arab Hotel, Basra, Iraq
Lest we Forget this brave lady who gave her all 🏴🇬🇧
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HYROX athlete who soiled herself makes U-turn and apologises dailymail.com/sport/otherspo… via @MailSport I soiled myself during the London Marathon. I wasn't running it just watching it on TV. It's a big problem.
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RIP Officer. Condolences to those who knew him.
Very sad news to share this evening that PC Luke Capon 1471EA of The Metropolitan Police Service has died after a battle with cancer. 😔
My thoughts are with PC Capon’s friends, family, loved ones and of course his colleagues too at this incredibly sad time. 🫡
#ThinBlueLine 🚨
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Duncan Whitehead retweeted
@GovernorVA You are utterly racist and sexist regarding White men. Shame on you!
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Duncan Whitehead retweeted
RIP mate
22 years in the blues and royals, household cavalry. Passed earlier this month.
22 years in the blues and royals, household cavalry. Passed earlier this month.
#Honoring #Trooper #YudhisinghJussun, a 22-year-old soldier serving in The #BluesAndRoyals regiment of the #HouseholdCavalry, who tragically and suddenly passed away on October 14th, 2026.
Summary of the Tribute:
• The Soldier: Trooper Yudhisingh Jussun, affectionately known ds and military comrades.
• His Service: He joined the British Army three years prior to his passing. He was an outstanding member of the Household Cavalry Mounted Regiment, standing guard at Horse Guards in London and participating in major state ceremonial events, including two separate Trooping the Colour parades.
• The Regimental Message: His Commanding Officer and fellow soldiers shared heartfelt statements remembering him for his immense warmth, resilience, and infectious positivity. 🙏🏼
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Duncan Whitehead retweeted
It’s London Poppy Day!
From 10 veterans raising £500 in 2006 to over £1.4M last year.
Let’s show what London is made of and smash that number today 🇬🇧
From 10 veterans raising £500 in 2006 to over £1.4M last year.
Let’s show what London is made of and smash that number today 🇬🇧
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Duncan Whitehead retweeted
Happy Birthday, Royal Marines!
Today, we recognize the legacy, courage, and unwavering commitment of the @RoyalMarines, who have served the United Kingdom with distinction for 362 years. Known for their resilience, adaptability, and elite amphibious capabilities, the Royal radition of service and a strong bond with the United States Marine Corps.
The U.S. Marine Corps joins in celebrating our British counterparts and honoring their enduring legacy of service.
Happy birthday, Marines! Per Mare, Per Terram.
Semper Fidelis
#RoyalMarines #SemperFidelis #USMC #MarineCorps
Today, we recognize the legacy, courage, and unwavering commitment of the @RoyalMarines, who have served the United Kingdom with distinction for 362 years. Known for their resilience, adaptability, and elite amphibious capabilities, the Royal radition of service and a strong bond with the United States Marine Corps.
The U.S. Marine Corps joins in celebrating our British counterparts and honoring their enduring legacy of service.
Happy birthday, Marines! Per Mare, Per Terram.
Semper Fidelis
#RoyalMarines #SemperFidelis #USMC #MarineCorps
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An Australian Hero.
Ashley Birt, Aussie soldier killed age 22 in “green on blue” attack 29 Oct 2011, Afghanistan.
His brother, also deployed, said “we'd always told mum and dad that we were going to be safe over there..I couldn't bring my little brother home.”
Thank you Ashley. We remember you.🇦🇺
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Absolutely.
The Royal Marines Commandos are among the finest fighting troops in the world. Trained to operate in the harshest environments on earth, from the freezing Arctic and mountainous terrain to dense jungles, deserts and hostile coastlines.
Physical endurance, mental toughness, ed aggression are at the heart of what makes a Royal Marine. Specialists in amphibious warfare, raiding and commando operations, they are expected to fight, survive and operate under conditions that would break most men.
The Green Beret is not given. It is earned through pain, exhaustion, determination and an absolute refusal to quit.
Per Mare, Per Terram. By Sea, By Land 🇬🇧
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A French hero, Brave man.
Héros discret du 13 novembre 2015, Guillaume Cardy fut l’un des premiers policiers à intervenir au Bataclan.
Alors membre de la BAC, il neutralisa l’un des terroristes, contribuant à mettre fin à la tuerie au Bataclan.
Un acte de courage exceptionnel, qui témoigne de iciers prêts à risquer leur vie pour sauver celle des autres.
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Duncan Whitehead retweeted
#Honoring #Trooper #YudhisinghJussun, a 22-year-old soldier serving in The #BluesAndRoyals regiment of the #HouseholdCavalry, who tragically and suddenly passed away on October 14th, 2026.
Summary of the Tribute:
• The Soldier: Trooper Yudhisingh Jussun, affectionately known ds and military comrades.
• His Service: He joined the British Army three years prior to his passing. He was an outstanding member of the Household Cavalry Mounted Regiment, standing guard at Horse Guards in London and participating in major state ceremonial events, including two separate Trooping the Colour parades.
• The Regimental Message: His Commanding Officer and fellow soldiers shared heartfelt statements remembering him for his immense warmth, resilience, and infectious positivity. 🙏🏼
Summary of the Tribute:
• The Soldier: Trooper Yudhisingh Jussun, affectionately known ds and military comrades.
• His Service: He joined the British Army three years prior to his passing. He was an outstanding member of the Household Cavalry Mounted Regiment, standing guard at Horse Guards in London and participating in major state ceremonial events, including two separate Trooping the Colour parades.
• The Regimental Message: His Commanding Officer and fellow soldiers shared heartfelt statements remembering him for his immense warmth, resilience, and infectious positivity. 🙏🏼
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Hero.
Le Sergent-chef Thomas Dupuy était un militaire français d'exception, servant au sein du Commando Parachutiste de l'Air n°10 (CPA 10). Né le 18 mai 1982 à Toulouse, il s'est engagé dans l'armée de l'air en 2005, où il a rapidement gravi les échelons grâce à son dévouement et son llèlement à sa carrière militaire, Thomas Dupuy était un athlète accompli en boxe thaïlandaise, remportant notamment le titre de champion du monde en 2004 à Bangkok.
Au sein du CPA 10, unité d'élite des forces spéciales de l'armée de l'air, il a participé à de nombreuses opérations extérieures, notamment en Afghanistan et au Mali. Le 29 octobre 2014, lors d'une mission dans le cadre de l'opération Barkhane, il a été mortellement blessé lors d'un accrochage avec des groupes armés terroristes dans le nord du Mali. Son courage et son engagement lui ont valu d'être élevé au grade d'adjudant à titre posthume et décoré de la Légion d'honneur.
Son sacrifice rappelle le dévouement des militaires français engagés dans la lutte contre le terrorisme. Nos pensées accompagnent sa famille, ses proches et ses frères d'armes.
🔎 Vous l’avez connu ? Nous recherchons des témoignages, des photos ou des anecdotes pour honorer sa mémoire et retracer son parcours. N’hésitez pas à partager vos souvenirs en commentaire ou à nous contacter en message privé.
📷 Chaque souvenir compte pour préserver son histoire !
#CPA10 #ForcesSpéciales #Hommage #Mémoire
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Duncan Whitehead retweeted
The Battle of Two Sisters - Falklands War, 1982 🇬🇧
On the night of 11th–12th June 1982, the men of 45 Commando, Royal Marines, launched a daring assault against heavily defended Argentine positions on the Two Sisters mountains overlooking Port Stanley.
Fighting uphill across in freezing conditions, the Marines faced entrenched defenders, machine-gun fire, mortars and artillery. The Argentines held the advantage of high ground, but the Royal Marines pressed forward through fierce resistance, engaging the enemy at close quarters and systematically clearing their positions.
By morning, Two Sisters had fallen to the British. It was a hard-fought victory achieved through courage, discipline, determination and the fighting ability of one of Britain's finest military formations.
Per Mare, Per Terram 🇬🇧
On the night of 11th–12th June 1982, the men of 45 Commando, Royal Marines, launched a daring assault against heavily defended Argentine positions on the Two Sisters mountains overlooking Port Stanley.
Fighting uphill across in freezing conditions, the Marines faced entrenched defenders, machine-gun fire, mortars and artillery. The Argentines held the advantage of high ground, but the Royal Marines pressed forward through fierce resistance, engaging the enemy at close quarters and systematically clearing their positions.
By morning, Two Sisters had fallen to the British. It was a hard-fought victory achieved through courage, discipline, determination and the fighting ability of one of Britain's finest military formations.
Per Mare, Per Terram 🇬🇧
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