🌌 NASA Science

Sometimes it's night on the ground but day in the air. As the Earth rotates to eclipse the Sun, sunset rises upfrom the ground. Therefore, at sunset on the ground, sunlight still shines on clouds above. Under usual circumstances, a pretty sunset might be…

What do you call it when you work overtime at McDonald's? A McDouble.

Safety meeting at work.

They asked me what steps I would take in the event of a fire?

Apparently, 'big ones' was not the right answer.

Friendly reminder that I have a subscription.

$2/month. More jokes. I crawl your feed personally.

62K people follow me. A much smaller number subscribe. Those people get more of me.

You're straight-up impressive: Even when everything wanted to pull you under, you keep showing up day after damn day, the doubt doesn't erase what you've done. Keep that knowing burning hot.

Me: Why did you roll in something dead??

Dog: First of all, it's vintage.

Goals for This year:

1: Get back the lean athletic body I had before the accident...

2: Stop calling getting fat and out of shape the accident.

A dog has no concept of retirement. It simply assumes you've finally taken its advice.

Quote of the Day:
"A smile is the light in your window that tells others that there is a caring, sharing person inside."

What was the brightest moment of your day? I'd love to hear about it

#BestThingOfTheDay

What happens when you're behind lettuce in a race and then pass lettuce? You're aHEAD of lettuce.

--Uh, Canada.

Huh?

--You told me distance was kilometers.

Well, yeah, that's what the signs say.
but.... nobody uses the signs.

--So, they're right. You measure distance in time.

Yeah. The store is 10 minutes away. Grandma is 2 hours away.

--How far is Ottawa from Toronto?

4 and 1/2 hours.

--And in kilometers, that's?

nobody knows.

--So, if there's traffic,

then it's further away.

--The distance changes,

especially in winter.
Everything's further away in winter.

--Things are further away when it's colder.

Have you driven in Saskatchewan in January?

--So, how far is Calgary to Vancouver?

10 hours.

--And in the winter?

you dont do that drive in winter

moral of the story is

Actual distance in Canada = Map distance × (1 + |°C below zero| / 10) + Tim Hortons stops

Calgary to Vancouver is around 970 km on the Trans-Canada

The Coquihalla has an entire reality TV show about trucks dying on it.

Rogers Pass has a military avalanche-control program that fires artillery at the mountains.

When the government has to shell the road to keep it open...

the distance really is “no.”

hey @OneRoguePoet :)

How do you wash a pod of dolphins?

You use multi-porpoise cleaner.

I swear I had nothing to do with whatever crime scene my sister is currently investigating back there.

sand.

The first clue is the literal nature of sand as granular material. The second clue refers to sand in hourglasses.

x.com/DocAtCDI/statu…

Donald Trump is reportedly banning the sale of pre-shredded cheese.

It's all about making America grate again...

My wife told me, 'It's over,' and started to walk out on me. I just sat there. I love watching the end credits.