@sqlpi WRITE THE DAMNED BOOK.

@sethjuarez @ChloeCondon I'm willing to let you send them to meet me in a dark alley.

My day in a nutshell:

Who does this?

@TheCiroth @jem_zero @ariellekersey All in favor say, "Aye!"

@gerrycanavan @sqlcheesecake What could possibly go wrong?

TFW you send someone your calendar availability, and they try to schedule a meeting on your ONE day of PTO in that time frame.

TWICE.

@GenePark ...as I read this tweet...

@sqlcheesecake @MelToreador @New_Narrative @MalcolmNance @jdickerson @maggieNYT No, with this administration it's more like...

@MemphisBelle111 @waltshaub @NidaKhanNY

@CatSwetel men are pigs

@sqlcheesecake So now they have the data they need to create deep fakes of anyone in those customer lists?

@Grady_Booch @realDonaldTrump

@sqlcheesecake THIS. This is the Twitter content I come for.

@DBArunning @tottinge

Narrator's voice: "Of course, it was a trap."

@voretaq7 @datachick

@SQLMCT @sqlstudent144

@AngelaTidwell Three

@SQLFlipFlopsDBA @AMtwo something like this, I'd reckon...

@AMtwo @tarynpivots

@HongKongHermit @bbcworldservice

@mmpadellan @sqlcheesecake

@sqlcheesecake I've found your coder...

@Strandjunker @VP

@SQLAllFather @IrishSQL @geo_walters @erinstellato

@SQLAllFather @DBAKevlar Them: It's as easy as 1-2-3

My brain:

@DBAKevlar Happy Birthday!

Enjoy yours like I do mine...

@lunagra80 @cl @IISResetMe @HalbaradKenafin

@AMtwo @sqlcheesecake @Kendra_Little @NerdPyle

@ellle_em A wee turtle and a hefty mug-o-stout.

I think I've got this.

We don't have all the requirements yet, but we're very disappointed that this wasn't delivered on time (yesterday).

@Will_MI77 @angelahooper Actually, per capita we look even worse, and Iran is kicking butt.

@sqlcheesecake I have a standard operating procedure for meeting requests less than an hour in advance with no personal discussion of why it was necessary:

Decline with wild abandon.

@mzbat Well, do you? I mean...just look at those faces!

I maintain that the United States is not a civilized country.

Exhibit C:

When people here talk about Agile...

@evacide This could be you:

@ImADataGuy @sqlcheesecake @datachick @SqlChick @MaryRobinette A-ight, y'all. We've found our visionary show-runner.

@sqlcheesecake Then THIS is health food:

@webmeadow If you think "generous leave policies" and "we encourage time off" is enough, you'll find your employees taking advantage of those to find new jobs.

This is how they see you:
youtu.be/VoAfb3f04mo

Breakfast time

@tottinge Well, considering I have concert tee-shirts older than the instructor, I guess I should expect newer versions of the activity.

Explaining to the same person for the umpteenth time why they keep getting orphans in their database: no referential integrity.
The experience is something like:

Here's a solution: Outlook could try not crashing all the damned time.

@databaird @datachick

@AgileFaye @estherderby management...

@grrl_geek

My brain:

Life-Changing Gift Wrapping Hacks youtu.be/dYXaxeJBj5k via @YouTube

@SQLRockstar @FerventGeek On a related topic, "the way to look like you walk on water is to run faster than you sink."

@hope_foley Use that fuel to build some muscle!

@lunivore @gdinwiddie

@sqlstudent144 @dbargenis

I voted. Have you?

@ManelWatchUS @TGCSage @sklososky @safetyculture @endingbadaudio @timlpalmquist @ClaudeY @GenderAvenger

@AMtwo @grrl_geek @kenjimallon

@AMtwo @dbargenis @Mike_Fal

It's #NationalPancakeDay!

Don't mind me...

@mrdenny @AMtwo So was your first reply made from your phone?

It's May! youtu.be/cg4YrOlAkds via @YouTube

TFW your organization's Data Governance body has no representation from your team of data professionals.