Why r celebrities laughing so much? I haven’t laughed as much in my whole life as they are in 1 pic but that’s fine
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Whenever u tell a wine person 2 types of wine u drink they have to be like “that doesn’t make sense cuz one is a bavinchi & the other one’s from panini”
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A piece I wrote for The New Yorker - hello hello!!
I’ll be setting up a booth in Prospect Park on Saturday, from 1 to 4 p.m., where you can wish me a happy birthday from a safe six-foot distance and, in return, I will use a T-shirt cannon to shoot you a T-shirt commemorating my cancelled birthday. newyorker.com/humor/daily-sh…
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ok i don't know who authorized this, but my first picture book illustrated by the amazing @kfaisteele is out TOMORROW !!!! u can buy it??? or not! this is a u thing honey!
amazon.com/Brilliant-Ms-B…
amazon.com/Brilliant-Ms-B…
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Stores: do u wanna use the credit card on file?
no I wanna dumpster dive in my backpack & find an old one I barfed on
no I wanna dumpster dive in my backpack & find an old one I barfed on
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Apple headset isn't even out yet but somehow i've already gotten water in the charging port and now mine's broken
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NETFLIX WE THINK U SHOULD LEAVE!! HAHA! whatever. Thrilled/honored/nauseous to be in here looking like an idiot #WGAstrong
Pride on the Picket Line was a party today 🏳️🌈 Happy #PrideMonth and thank you to the amazing speakers including @jeremyoharris (featured below), and everyone who came out to dance- and demand a fair contract.
#WGAstrike #WGAstrong ✊
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A movie could literally be about a talking Panda named Toot Toot yet as soon as the husband walks in I’m like “he killed her”
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When I was a little girl I remember being like why can't M&Ms be different, when will I see an M&M in the White House? Today we are one step closer ❤️
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Yes, I have been in touch w my lawyer abt whatever is going on w Pete Davidson & Kim Kardashian, she assures me we have the full resources of the firm behind us to fight this
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i srsly don't get the point of going back to the office if we have to wear masks at the all hands + u can't go around kissing people all day or even host a small kissing contest in ur cube
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watch me get vaccinated next to the one person who spent the pandemic getting hot & they make us take a photo together that ends up on the news, i'm already so pissed
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The internet is great for spending 1/2 ur day on articles like "See How the Cast of Cheesecake Wars Unleashed The Final Frontier Season 8 (before Nelson left) Mourns the Loss of RBG"
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Cara Devins retweeted
I’ll be setting up a booth in Prospect Park on Saturday, from 1 to 4 p.m., where you can wish me a happy birthday from a safe six-foot distance and, in return, I will use a T-shirt cannon to shoot you a T-shirt commemorating my cancelled birthday. newyorker.com/humor/daily-sh…
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me all day now: "have you joined my Zoom room? I pressed accept but it says you're still in the lobby. Mathilde tried Houseparty but she doesn't have the chrome extension. Why don't we just do Microsoft Buddies so Lincoln can join?"
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I need to stop seeing lists of how to survive quarantine like "have a dance party in your living room!" - if i was a fun person don't you think i would have started being fun years ago??
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There's literally nothing I'd rather hear about less than how semesters worked at your college & how all the students stay for a 3 week mid-year mini term in February but it doesn't count toward your major so everybody just has fun
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Ok WOW i love this @nikkipalumbeau !
Bumped into the wall on my way to the bathroom, someone hit me with his umbrella, and more! @nikkipalumbeau @saralautman newyorker.com/humor/daily-sh…
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My favorite emoji is the little nerd smiley face w glasses cause i think it just puts people at ease just to even know that little nerd ass exists
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