When do you think it'd be a good time to submit my application for CEO as Papa John's? I've got previous experience.

I HAD SO MANY COUPONS LEFT TO E-MAIL YOU. ONE OF THEM WAS BOUND TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE.

There is no number of votes that will bring me back to my former glory. No amendments that will have me sell books again. #govoteiguess

Last weekend got really dark for me. There're just some @Criterion Collection films that you shouldn't watch when you're feeling like I do.

I JUST WANTED TO SELL YOU PHILIP ROTH AND INSTYLE MAGAZINE - WAS THAT SO WRONG!?!?!!?

I wish more people had come to me for e-readers. I had all sorts of great ones: Kimble Fyres, Norks - you name it.

I woke up this AM with a great business idea, then realized it was the same shitty idea I had 41 years ago that led me to this sorry state.

20 Alan Aldas #Mention20PeopleYouWantToMeet

Let me tell ya: I've got way too many unsold copies of this fucking book lying around & it's creeping me the F out.

You want to know the real reason why I went bankrupt? Drugs.

I'd have more motivation to start anew if I didn't think about how sad it was when 1 person would be in the gardening books aisle at 10AM.

Seriously, why the fuck'd I think people were going to buy The Office: The Board Game? That has to be where it all went wrong.

I only ask because my GF would appreciate it if I got off the couch & maybe got rid of some of these board games that nobody ever bought.

Does anybody miss me? More importantly, does anybody have a good lead on a job?